That's right. I uprooted and relocated to the City of Angels...which is quite ironic that it would be called such a thing because I'm certain that this is the last city on Earth where an angel would want to spend their time.
It's scary, to be quite honest. Granted it is still only the first week of my moving here and I haven't started my job yet. But it's very difficult relocating. I know that my case isn't special in any way, because young people do this every day...moving far away from their families and making fresh starts for themselves...but that doesn't change the reality of the matter.
However, that's exactly how I'm treating this experience. This is a fresh start! I have always been the kind of person who thinks one thing about themselves in their own mind, but when such an event comes to pass in reality, I find that I'm quite a different person. For example, I'd like to say that I'm going to lose 20 pounds in the next 8 weeks, because it seems so easy in my head. Just work out everyday and eat really well!...Easier said than done. And it doesn't help that I just recently (January 2nd, 2012) started a relationship with a really great girl, and now we're thousands of miles apart.
I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone before. Admittedly, I didn't think much of getting into a relationship my senior year of college because I knew I would be moving far away. So we played it chill because we had already been friends for a couple of years (I met her through an ex of mine...oops) and I don't think either of us expected it to get as serious as it has. But here we are, five months later, and I'm in love. Really in love. We haven't broken anything off, though. We are doing the long distance thing for as long as either of us can stand it, which will hopefully be until we're engaged...did I just say that?
I digress. So, on top of that I have always had weight issues and I feel that this is the perfect time to tackle this long standing pain in my...well...you get the picture. Like I said a couple paragraphs ago, it has always seemed so much easier in my head. What it comes down to is that I always look to food in times of great emotional stress. If I'm really happy, I want to pig out...if I'm really bummed, I want to pig out. I need to control my emotions and channel that urge to want to eat into something more realistic, or helpful. Like writing. I am an aspiring filmmaker (screenwriter, director, and possibly actor). I typically do turn to writing as a way to put my emotions out on the table (as you can see) but I need to learn to make that my main focus...because my writing is always better when I've got the fuel of emotion in me, anyway.
But this is a new beginning. We get blank slates in times like these and I'm taking full advantage of it.
This is my time to make my dreams a reality. I can't be the person that I have been and expect the world to fall into my lap. Sure, I've been lucky this far, but I have to make things happen for myself, and that's exactly what I intend to do. You're only young once and the last thing I want to do in 10 years is look back to the year 2012 and think "Man, I could've done more...I wonder where I'd be now if I would've just tried harder." One thing I've done far too much of my entire life is dwell on the past. It's time to realize that I wouldn't have to dwell on the past if I just take full advantage of the time that is given to me one day at a time by God's good graces.
I only hope that this helps some of you out there who are in the same boat as I am.
--TTSFA
