2014: The Year of Progress & Commitment

Well needless to say, it's been a while since I've dusted off this old blog spot for a good old fashioned...well...blogging. 

First, I feel that I should apologize for the naivety of my younger self (read a few of my posts from a couple years ago and you'll understand where I'm coming from).  But I don't delete them because I like to see how far I've come since that point in my life.

Which leads me straight into this current post.  As I was setting out to describe what's new in my life with this new post, I started to realize that it could come off as being very self-centered. Now, it may seem that I'm about to go off on a rant, but I promise it will tie back together.

I was born and raised a good Catholic (emphasis on "good," not "great"), but I've been through phases where I've lost touch with my faith and the reasons why I practice the religion that I do.  I've never doubted that there was a God, in fact I've always felt a strong connection with Him, but over the last year and a half or so (essentially since I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry), I've found a strong desire to reconnect with my religion in a more devout way. Recently coming off of a week-long Christmas vacation back in Indiana definitely influenced this desire. I always love going home and seeing all of my family members. I know most people find it dreadful, but I do thoroughly enjoy family time. Anyway, I came back to LA and decided to immediately get my arse back to church. 

So I went to mass tonight and, naturally, had to go to confession first as I couldn't receive communion having missed so many weeks in a row.  While in the confessional, Father (I'm not sure of his name, I'll have to ask next time) asked what I needed to talk about. I told him that I had missed mass several times and, although it wasn't intentional, it was definitely out of pure laziness.  He proceeded to ask me if I understood why we go to church every week and I basically responded by saying that it felt more like an obligation than anything, but that it was also to praise God (basic cookie-cutter response).  While he didn't say I was wrong, Father delved deeper into the real reasons behind weekly mass. In short, he explained to me that when we go to mass, we take all of our experiences from the previous week (good, bad or otherwise) and "lay" them at the alter to ask God to bless them so that we may remember not only "who we are, but whose we are," because we all belong to God.  Father made another great point that resonated with me (and not as if I didn't know this being in Los Angeles of all places) in saying that it's always easier to be a good Catholic in church. But to go out and live as God intended us to is much more difficult in the real world as we get caught up in friends and work and our daily lives. He then asked if I had any lack of forgiveness, and after thinking about it, I said yes (the reason for which is a whole other dramatic story we'll save for another time).  Anyway, Father reminded me that if we do not allow ourselves to forgive, we become imprisoned and enslaved to those we hold grudges against. So we must forgive in order to live more freely. 

Heavy stuff, right? But it all made perfect sense to me, especially with what I'm striving to accomplish in the new year. Now, to get back to that point that you all thought I forgot about by now. What this all came down to, in my perspective, was to become a more selfless person. But in order for us to become selfless, we must become a better version of ourselves. What I mean by that is that we must always keep sight of our dreams and become more confident in our own skin before we can successfully devote ourselves to helping those around us. Again, we go to church to recognize "who we are." That, my friends, is why I have coined the term this year "2014: Progress & Commitment."  I originally just thought to use Progress, but after my insightful visit in the confessional tonight, I realized that we can't really make progress without a vast amount of commitment to the things we want to progress in our lives; and I've got just a couple. 

I'd like to think that I've grown as a person since I've reached certain milestones in my life. Going to college, graduating college, moving to LA, getting a job, etc. However, I've recently realized that I was simply going through the motions all this time, rather than actually progressing. Now, I think the Progress aspect pertains more to my professional life, whereas the Commitment side insinuates my lack of consistency in the physical aspects of my life (physical being health and fitness related).  

The point that I am now making is that I have reached this level of motivation that I've never achieved before, and all the pieces seem to be falling into place with perfect timing. I joined LA Fitness and have been on a huge fitness binge over the last month or so. Physically, I'm feeling great. Which leads me into the first of two challenges that I have recently begun and I need to plug here. First, the Green Smoothie Challenge.  My sister told me about this because we're always looking for new ways to invest in a healthy lifestyle (whether we become successful or not is always a bit muddy, but I digress). So the two of us set out on this smoothie journey together and I feel great about it! It has done nothing but boost my motivation to new highs. This, along with my urge to hit the gym everyday is exhilarating and I finally feel like I'm committed to overcoming the physical challenges in my life.

Secondly, my professional career has been a bit up in the air since I first started out in LA. I went through the typical struggles of finding a first job, which I finally landed working for the owner of a small talent agency (remember that whole "lack of forgiveness" segment a few paragraphs back...). Without getting into too much detail, I essentially felt as though I was just jumping from job to job without any solid direction. However, my current job came along, again with impeccable timing. It's with an entertainment law firm, something I found random and did not have any desire in doing, but I've found now that it is one of the best things to happen to me career-wise.  As opposed to my first job, I am not under constant stress and pressure, which results in allowing me so much more time to focus on my writing (if you haven't caught on by now, I am an aspiring writer).  Which leads me to the second challenge I'm taking on, and in which this blog post is playing a very important role! (Along with my other blog over at The Film Jockey...I'm full of shameless plugs right now). The My 500 Words 31 Day Challenge is proving to be a great motivator in keeping me focused on my writing. I am currently working on a couple of screenplays and I have never been more ecstatic about the progress I've been making since I started this challenge just 3 days ago.

Whew, I must say that was a rather indulgent post...if you'll so allow yourself to indulge in my admittedly hit-or-miss bloggings. Anyway, I hope that this helps inspire some of you to progress and commit in the new year. I prefer not to think of them as "resolutions," but more as permanent life enhancements. 

And let the pretenses be gone! From here on out I may also use this blog in particular to keep track of some of my challenges (or I might just use my planner, I haven't quite decided yet). I suppose you'll know when you see the next time I post!

With that - Happy new year, happy progress and happy commitment!

2014: Progress & Commitment

Pondering

For as long as I can remember, I have been a loner.  Although that's probably not what most people would describe me as.  I'm a writer, and a very emotional one at that.  I think most writers have a default "loner" setting that their mind falls into whenever they feel that ping of emotion or motivation. In a writer's life, those two terms feel very interchangeable.
So anyway, I'll find myself here at my computer with nothing all that interesting to say...not to other people at least...because what I want to ramble on about isn't of any importance to anyone but myself. Honestly, it shouldn't have any importance at all because what it comes down to is self-pity...and nobody likes a cry baby.
What I'm seeking is the motivation.  I write, yes, but it's not as easy as it seems. Even the most imaginative and creative writer doesn't want to lock themselves in a room and write for hours on end. It's depressing.
And being here in this new city basically alone for the last two months...is depressing. But I haven't spent all that much time writing.
Oh I don't know. I guess I'll just pull my head out of that place where the sun don't shine and force myself to get over it.  What else can you do?
I'm at a loss.

Blank Slate

The time that I never thought would come, has come and gone.  I am officially now a part of the "real world." Or, rather, the real world as seen through a 22-year-old, recent college graduate who has just moved to a big city 2,000 miles away from home...

That's right. I uprooted and relocated to the City of Angels...which is quite ironic that it would be called such a thing because I'm certain that this is the last city on Earth where an angel would want to spend their time.  

It's scary, to be quite honest. Granted it is still only the first week of my moving here and I haven't started my job yet. But it's very difficult relocating. I know that my case isn't special in any way, because young people do this every day...moving far away from their families and making fresh starts for themselves...but that doesn't change the reality of the matter.

However, that's exactly how I'm treating this experience. This is a fresh start!  I have always been the kind of person who thinks one thing about themselves in their own mind, but when such an event comes to pass in reality, I find that I'm quite a different person. For example, I'd like to say that I'm going to lose 20 pounds in the next 8 weeks, because it seems so easy in my head. Just work out everyday and eat really well!...Easier said than done.  And it doesn't help that I just recently (January 2nd, 2012) started a relationship with a really great girl, and now we're thousands of miles apart.

I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone before.  Admittedly, I didn't think much of getting into a relationship my senior year of college because I knew I would be moving far away. So we played it chill because we had already been friends for a couple of years (I met her through an ex of mine...oops) and I don't think either of us expected it to get as serious as it has. But here we are, five months later, and I'm in love. Really in love.  We haven't broken anything off, though. We are doing the long distance thing for as long as either of us can stand it, which will hopefully be until we're engaged...did I just say that?

I digress.  So, on top of that I have always had weight issues and I feel that this is the perfect time to tackle this long standing pain in my...well...you get the picture.  Like I said a couple paragraphs ago, it has always seemed so much easier in my head.  What it comes down to is that I always look to food in times of great emotional stress. If I'm really happy, I want to pig out...if I'm really bummed, I want to pig out.  I need to control my emotions and channel that urge to want to eat into something more realistic, or helpful.  Like writing. I am an aspiring filmmaker (screenwriter, director, and possibly actor).  I typically do turn to writing as a way to put my emotions out on the table (as you can see) but I need to learn to make that my main focus...because my writing is always better when I've got the fuel of emotion in me, anyway.

But this is a new beginning. We get blank slates in times like these and I'm taking full advantage of it.  

This is my time to make my dreams a reality.  I can't be the person that I have been and expect the world to fall into my lap.  Sure, I've been lucky this far, but I have to make things happen for myself, and that's exactly what I intend to do.  You're only young once and the last thing I want to do in 10 years is look back to the year 2012 and think "Man, I could've done more...I wonder where I'd be now if I would've just tried harder."  One thing I've done far too much of my entire life is dwell on the past.  It's time to realize that I wouldn't have to dwell on the past if I just take full advantage of the time that is given to me one day at a time by God's good graces.

I only hope that this helps some of you out there who are in the same boat as I am.  

--TTSFA

Gettin back to reality

Well, this first week back to school has been okay. It's hump day, but it seems like it's been dragging by. I'm not sure why, but I feel like this has been the hardest bounceback from a break in my college career so far. Probably because I have so many responsibilities, so I rack my brain trying to think of everything and then I just overwhelm myself. It's going to be a good semester though! Things are off to a good start. There's a couple of classes that are probably going to kick my butt, but I'm just going to push through it as best I can!

Long time, no blog!

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged over here! Last semester was a super busy one for me. Between taking on leadership rolls within Ball State TCOM and all my classes, blogging, unfortunately, got pushed to the back burner. But not anymore! I'm here to stay and I will be blogging regularly. Everyone be sure and check out my new blog called "The Film Jockey" where I review all kinds of movies throughout the week and update on movie news. "Toolbox Central" will remain my forum for random rants! Hopefully I'll be back within the next couple of days for something a little more interesting to talk about!

Losin' it!!!

Well, I definitely need to get to bloggin' way more often! As of right now, I am in Maryland staying with my sister and her husband and son. This is doubling as a summer vacation...and boot camp! I have been struggling with some major weight issues, mostly because I'm lazy, and my sister is helping me out! I have been here 4 days and I can already tell a difference in my energy levels! It's a really great time for me because my sister has been really good about being healthy and working out regularly, whereas I, have not. So, this is a major lifestyle change for me, and it's going great so far! I have eaten more vegetables in the past 4 days than I have in my entire life! We are working out about once or twice a day as well. This is going to be really great for me and I can't wait to reach my goal and become a new person!

One nation...UNDER GOD!

It's been a while since I last blogged, but I'm returning on a more specific note this time. It involves an article I found on Yahoo.com as I was checking my e-mail just about 5 minutes ago. Apparently there was some atheist group in North Carolina that decided it would be a good idea to make a giant billboard saying "One nation...Indivisible." What's wrong with this, you might ask? The line "Under God" is missing. The point of the article, however, comes in because some unknown vandals spray painted the missing words onto the billboard! This made me very happy to see that some people in this nation still believe that God should be a part of our lives. Of course there are legal actions being taken because of the vandalism and the "defacing" of public property. Whatever. I'm extremely offended by the sign in the first place, so how about some legal action against the inconsiderate atheists who apparently NEED to get their atheism publicized. There's no doubt that they were intentionally trying to piss off the Christian community more than they were actually trying to get their own name out. Which is totally O.K.! I remember when the Chronicles of Narnia movie came out back in 2005, and it was within the first week of its' theatrical release that I saw a news segment saying "Is the Chronicles of Narnia TOO religious?" How about being too ATHEIST??? I get physically disgusted when I think about how twisted this whole issue of "Church and State" has become. It's like people have completely forgotten what our nation was built on. There are many better ways for an atheist group to make their existence known. This is not only extremely uncalled for, but it's also just another chance for everyone who DOESN'T believe in God to try and piss off the population that does believe. It's a sad, sad fact that people can't just live their lives, but they really feel the need to offend someone. Well, I'd say they got what was coming to them.